Today is the yahrzeit of my late father in law Richard. He died 9 years ago, at 90. Wifey lit a candle and we said our prayers. Later this afternoon we'll go over to Mt. Nebo west of the Palmetto and visit his grave site, and place stones.
D1 and Joey gave their youngest son his name for a middle name. His namesake is amazingly adorable.
Wifey sent around photos of her Daddy. He had such a happy childhood -- loving parents and siblings, and his father did well as a cabinet maker in Lodz, Poland. And then the Nazis came, and turned his heaven into hell -- losing most of his family in the death camps. Amazingly, he and 2 brothers and a sister survived.
Richard and his sister went to an emerging Jewish homeland, and they fought for Israel's independence. His brothers went to the US. Richard met a fellow Survivor from Poland, though more of a small town girl, from Sosniewicz, and they married. It was hard for them to conceive, but a boy was due in 1950, but was stillborn. The "professors," what Israelis called medical specialists, were skeptical that they would have a baby, and my mother in law Rachel would feed the birds outside her Haifa apartment asking their spirits to help. In late 1956 Wifey was born, and named in Hebrew after the birds...
In 1960, the family of 3 immigrated to the US -- times in Israel were tough, and they both had family in the states. They moved first to Miami, then NY, and then back to Miami in 1972, where Wifey finished high school.
My father in law always saw himself as a businessman, but he was never much of one. All of the businesses he opened -- a candy store on LI, and a dry cleaners in Miami, failed. So he worked hard as a cabinet maker, and my mother in law worked in gift wrap at Burdines -- for many years.
Richard loved his family fiercely. He and I could never communicate well -- his style was always more barking words than listening. But that was ok -- he gave me his daughter, who gave me the greatest gifts of my life: my Ds. So we were cool.
He had quite the ego. After we moved back to our rebuilt house following Hurricane Andrew, we decided to rent out his former house, in Kendale South. He wanted to paint it for me. My brother in law Dennis correctly pointed out that this was 70 year old man who had quadruple bypass surgery a few years before -- how would I feel if he keeled over on a ladder and died? So I hired a painter, who did the job, and thanked my father in law for the offer.
He reacted as if I had insulted his entire family, and stopped talking to me -- for nearly 2 years. He would only visit our house when I was at work, and only drink water from the outside spigot "I don't drink HIS vater." Wifey tried to explain that it was STILL water I paid for -- but my father in law was what is now called neurodivergent, and never saw the absurdity of his thinking.
Well, one day he decided I had been, I guess, punished enough, and began speaking to me again. He even let me pay to send him and my mother in law on trips to Poland and Israel.
It's funny -- as I age - I take little crap from anyone. But I wished our family to remain together, and so I swallowed all pride. I'm glad I did.
We cared for him for years after his Alzheimer's diagnosis. He stayed home with Rachel until he couldn't -- and then we got him into Miami Jewish home. My mother was there, in the final 11 months of her life, and he LOVED when we would all gather outside together, under the ancient live oaks on the property.
Near the end, they rushed him to Mt. Sinai's ICU with sepsis. With his amazing strength and will to live, he recovered -- and had several more months, until it was time for hospice, and he faded into the great beyond.
So today we remember him -- the loving father he was to Wifey, and the loving grandpa he was to the Ds.
He packed a LOT of living into his 90 years. And to our family, his memory is a blessing...
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