Friday, October 20, 2023

Cheap Cheap Cheap

 Back when Wifey and I were relatively poor -- essentially just paying our bills with little extra money...well, I guess we weren't poor. We were fairly middle class, I was in grad school, and Wifey had a nice sales job. We had 2 Mazdas, and with a $10K gift from my Mom, we bought our first house. So not poor, but certainly not rich or well off in any way.

Anyway...Wifey asked me what I would do if we ever DID make big money. I was never into stuff, and so the answer was easy: after taking care of our family, I would give to charity, and ALWAYS be the friend who picked up the check at dinner. And, blessedly, that's how things turned out.

In my partner and brother Paul, I found a kindred spirit. When our firm was in the chips, so to speak, NO ONE paid. We paid for every meal, and even paid for friends and family to take very nice trips. One, in particular, stands out. We took 13 people to Vegas, paid for EVERYTHING, including tickets to the strange circus guys from Canada, and meals, and limos. Back then, and this was 1996, the tab was north of $30K. And we loved every minute of it.

Well, over the years, we calmed down our largesse, on account of the chip piles are shorter, and we're not on the make for new business as we were. Plus, we realized that many friends richer than us still never paid! So we still pay -- but only for dear friends.

In my case, whenever a son in law tries to grab a check, I remind him of the great Sopranos scene, where Meadow's boyfriend Finn picks up a dinner tab and Tony is furious. HE is the man of the family. He pays! My sons in law abide my wishes, here, and each time it cracks me up.

My father in law, may he rest in peace, last picked up a tab when I was in my last year of law school. Hey -- he figured he had a big shot lawyer son in law, whereas he was a carpenter, and so he would gladly hand me the check. It was fine with me.

Anyway, all this came to light earlier this week. Wifey told me a tale -- she's in a group of ladies taking lessons -- all of them rich women. They decided to send the teacher a gift -- Wifey found something for around $50. One of the students objected, and found something for $20. It was fine -- just a gesture anyway, but then Wifey got a request to Venmo $5!!!!!!! Really????

Yes, really, and it reminded us that for many people, even those with multiple 7 figure, or near 7 figure homes, hey -- $5 is $5!

It also reminded me of Rabbi Yossi, whose organizations Paul and I have been privileged to support over the decades -- to the tune of high 6 figures. He says he and his fellow Rabbis joke about the "$18 Club."

Now, no one OWES them anything, and he is grateful for any donations he receives, but often rich people send a gift of $18, and act as if they endowed a building.

Seems to me, when you get to a certain level in life, gifts ought to be $180, but hey, maybe if I live long enough and run out of money, I'll turn to Wifey on the bench under the highway overpass, and say "We should have been members of the $18 Club.

Meanwhile, in nicer news, we have planned the first get together of all (2) of my siblings for next month. We were last together nearly 4 years ago, at D2 and Jonathan's wedding, and in the tumult of that wonderful event, had limited time to reminisce.

We feared that my California sister was no longer up to flying across the country on her own, on account of bum hips, but when her boy, my nephew Henry, announced he was coming to SoFla for business, she decided to join the party.

My Florida sister and bro in law, in Tampa, agreed to drive over, and stay in a local hotel just a few miles from our house.

And Olivia, the 4th sibling in the way Pete Best was the 5th Beatle, may join us, too, from North Palm Beach.

The main event will be Saturday 11/11, when hopefully the Ds and their men (little and grown) all come over, and we have a great get together. I'm thinking bagels and martinis.

There will also be breakfasts, lunches, and dinners, and it will be MY privilege to host and pay for all of these.

I have a sense this may be the last time we're all together, on account of age. The only big upcoming simcha, since all those of marrying age are already married, may be my grandson's Bar Mitzvah, and that's a decade away. By then, my sisters and bro in law will be 90, 88, and 85 , and I'm guessing, if blessed to still be here, not much into a cross state or cross country trip.

But who knows? I plan on a delightful long weekend. And when it's over, I won't be asking anyone to Venmo me any money. I have Zelle, anyway.

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