Career Advice

 I guess I just always got it -- helped along greatly by the lessons of my parents: when someone does something nice for you, or gives you a gift -- you thank them. I certainly taught the Ds -- they weren't allowed to play with any gift until a thank you note was given.

Sure enough -- the lesson was used as I entered my profession. My main mentor Ed gave me reams of advice, and placed me in my second and third job. Each time Wifey and I took him and his wife Joyce for dinner -- even though picking up the tab for an expensive place was a bit difficult back then. It was the only way I knew how to be.

Well -- a few weeks ago, I got a text from a young UM Law graduate who used to clerk for a friend.. She's nice and quiet -- and is the daughter of my friend's close friends. I hadn't seen or heard from her in quite some time, and then she texted -- she was offered a job by a local firm -- what was my opinion of them?

I Googled the firm, whose name I knew, but nothing more. I saw I knew no one who worked there -- not unusual as I age and it seems most lawyers are younger than I. But I saw the extent of their practice, and I texted back -- telling the rookie lawyer they had a fine reputation, and she would likely learn a lot from them. I wished her luck, and told her to let me know how things worked out. 

And her response was: nothing. Zero. As if I was just there on the buffet table of resources for this young lady, and no thanks were necessary.

I guess I forgot about it, until tonight, when my friend excitedly told me the young lawyer had taken the job and started today. My friend was drinking, and when I brought up the diss of not hearing back from her -- he tried to tell me that "doing tzedekah was its own reward -- I should do it without expecting anything in return."

I asked where in any holy books tzedekah included taking the time to give career advice to a rich girl who grew up in Boca Raton. Somehow I don't think it's the same as giving time or money to a college, or homeless shelter.

Whatever. I actually hope my friend mentions something to the young lawyer -- for her own good. When people are recognized for helping, they want to help again. It's just human nature. If a friend asks, some time in the future if I know of any lawyers looking for a sweet job with some defense experience -- well, no way I'd remember or recommend the young lawyer who ghosted me.

Again -- my Ds got the lesson -- D1, sometimes too much so. Whenever someone refers her a client -- she sends a gift. Often the gift costs more than the fee earned -- but she shows how thoughtful and classy she is. And that makes me proud.

I've been buying Stage Leap Petite Syrah by the case lately -- when the winery puts it on sale. I don't drink much wine, if at all -- but the bottles keep disappearing -- gifts when the Ds or we are invited over somewhere.

I just left a bottle for our new next door neighbors -- Jesus and Mariela. I got a text -- they LOVE wine, and know Stag's Leap well -- they SO appreciated the gift, and Wifey and I needed to come over to share "two or three good bottles" of wine with them. I'll ask for vodka instead.

Years ago, a comedian I enjoyed said that manners are the lubricant of society. You can get by without them -- but with chafing and grinding and pain.

Thinking back -- I got to do a really nice gesture with my mentor Ed. In 1992, I was fortunate to bring into my firm a huge case -- and Ed did work on it. At the end of the case, there was a check for his firm for about $300,000.00. My boss, also Ed, was going to put his check in the mail -- the same afternoon he handed me a truly life changing check. Instead, I asked for it -- to deliver it in person.

It was a Friday, and it was too late to deposit my jumbo check in the bank. I recall driving past MIA in my Mazda 626 --with blue velour seats -- the two checks sitting on the passenger seat like little people. I looked up and saw a Varig 747 -- the old airline of Brazil. I looked at the checks and the plane, and had a Walter Mitty moment -- I could drive over to MIA, get on the plane, and start a new life in Rio. Oh sure -- I'd send money back to Wifey and the Ds -- then a baby and 3 -- but buy myself a Panama hat and...

Nah. Instead I drove to Ed's house, behind Baptist Hospital. He was sitting in his antique barber chair, drinking a vodka on ice. He poured one for me, and asked why I had come over that fine evening. I told him how much I appreciated his referring me for the job -- I loved it, and learned so much. And, I said, with a case I had brought in and he had worked on, I could finally thank him properly -- and handed him the check.

He looked at it, and got teary eyed. Sure -- he had earned the fee -- but I know it meant so much to him coming from one of his proteges. And it meant a lot to me, too.

Then I drove home to my house, and showed Wifey the check. A few months later, Hurricane Andrew would blow down our house and give us more big checks, courtesy of Prudential Insurance. So 1992 really changed our lives.

And I got to properly show gratitude for someone who helped my career a lot. I hope the newly minted lawyer, for her own sake, learns that lesson.