My late father in law Richard had a very dramatic way of speaking -- often in a very loud voice. My favorite example of that happened during the 90s.
Dr. Barry was at a local bookstore with his young boys, and came upon two elderly men yelling at each other in the coffee shop. He thought it was going to come to blows, and steeled himself for this -- probably recalling his days as a bouncer at the UM Rathskellar. But then he realized -- the men were my father in law and his brother Louie -- that was just the way they communicated. I'm sure it was an argument over something silly, or not an argument at all.
When I met my in laws, they were involved in a weekly card game with a group of other Holocaust Survivors. They all lived in Kendall or proto-Pinecrest, and took turns hosting. I remember great food, cigarette smoke, and lots of coffee -- maybe a bottle of vodka on the table, too.
I used to smile at how these aging Survivors had come so far -- now mostly grandparents, and most successful businesspeople. Well -- not my in laws. My father in law always thought himself smarter than the average bear. When a group of them, in the early 70s, each put of $10K in savings to buy strawberry fields in what became West Kendall, my father in law thought Miami was already over developed. He put his $10K into two lots in Cocoa Beach.
Well, in the late 80s, the rest of the group sold their holdings to a developer and each received over $500K. My in laws' two lots in Cocoa sold for $12K. Oh well...
But still, they were all a nice group of friends -- or so I thought. I once mentioned to Richard that I had seen one of his friends on Flagler Street. "Vat???? Friends? They are not friends, they are CARD PLAYERS! I VOULD DROWN EVERY ONE OF THEM!"
So I guess he was saying that these fellow Survivors were just acquaintances. I thought about Richard today, during my morning constitutional.
I crossed paths with a woman I'll call Ellen, since that's her name. She was walking with her daughter, a quiet and lovely grad student.
Two days after Wifey and I moved in, Ellen and her husband stopped by. We had a lot of people in common, and Ellen had something mean or nasty to say about every one of them. When she left, Wifey and I said "Oh well -- that's someone we're never getting close to."
And so it remained -- although we've been cordial neighbors. Their kids have grown and done well. And that makes me happy.
And lately, I've been having nice chats with Ellen and her husband, and two of her kids. She's very funny. It seems the bad mouthing of others has tapered off -- although we did pass one neighbor today, and I noticed they didn't greet each other. Ellen explained it was due to a near miss car accident 15 years ago.
The point struck me -- it's nice to have acquaintances and not ever think they'll grow any closer. As I age, my true inner circle has shrunk. I like it that way.
A few months ago, I was out with two members of that circle, and the wife said "I always feel you're the one of my husband's friends we can go to in an emergency, ask for $10K, no other info given, and you'll get it for us." I assured her this was indeed the case, and I felt proud she had said that.
I told her her words reminded me of the old great saying: A good friend keeps your secret about killing someone. A GREAT friend helps you dispose of the body. I told them I would help dispose of any bodies, as needed, and they agreed they would do the same.
Acquiantances in need? They get a few hundred dollars -- no questions asked.
Speaking of in laws, my suegra has indeed come out of ICU and is in a regular room. I think Wifey will be visiting her later. I'm now back to wondering whether or not I outlive her -- even though she's 37 years older than I .
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