P.S. My mother in law is dead

The philosophical wisdom of old movies keeps running through my mind like a broken record. Lately it's "The Grand Hotel's" "People come; people go, nothing much really happens."

I knew a friend's mother in law was dying, and I asked after her in an email. After talking about college acceptances and other current events, the email said, essentially, "Oh, my mother in law died 2 weeks ago."

Just like that. A life had passed, and to the family, the news rated in importance about where talking about a good or bad restaurant would fall.

So much for Arthur Miller's admonition that the lives of ALL in a family, even those who are only salesmen: "Attention MUST be paid."

I had met the lady several times, and didn't know her well at all. I'll make a donation to a local shul in her memory. I remember that when my father died, the few folks who did that, made a donation in his memory, gave me comfort. I guess it was the proverbial piece of immortality.

We all claim that "we don't judge," that people deal with loss differently. Still, this struck me, coming from educated, professional people --to not send out a mass email or something.

I guess I'm projecting. I'd like to hope that when MY time comes to meet the invisible Man in the sky, or join that lovely gathering of departed relatives and friends, that MY girls will at least tell their friends of my passing, that it will at least merit the first paragraph in an email. In other words, that I get at least THAT measure of importance, of immortality.

Meanwhile, her on Earth, D1 finally got to share in the "good mailbox news" that her sister has been dominating. D1 got an early admission to Graduate School. She's going to seek a Master's in Nutrition.

Of course, I read the good news to her, and she shared it with Wifey, who's visiting her up at UF. I then hung up, and looked at our kitchen table, the one we've had since D1 was 6. She used to read the food labels, even at an early age. I saw a vision of her, scrubbed and perfectly dressed as always, at 6 years old, already interested in food. And now, movie-like, there's a fast forward to a graduate student.

The message to me is, of course, that a TON of crap happens while people come and go.

And I MUST and DO pay attention, as I know my Ds do.

Hopefully our lives, to us, will maintain top billing.

Wifey and I want headlines, someday, not some small notice tucked away near the classified ads...