Be The Coffee Bean

As an only somewhat interested observer, I enjoy watching the trends on FaceBook (tm) involving Chabad rabbis, including two I consider good friends.  Over the past few months, they've begun taking selfie videos, where they share sermons, or just some insights on life.  Sometimes I watch them, and the other day Rabbi Yossi shared a tale that resonated with me.

He began by saying he was waiting to speak at a Miami Dade Police event, where he's a chaplain.  He was wondering whether any of those gathered even listen to him -- few are Jewish, and cops tend to be personality types who can't be told ANYTHING.  But then a major, a Cuban tough guy, turned to him and said "Rabbi --the coffee story -- I use it to train all of the men under my command.  Thanks."  Yossi then knew it WAS worthwhile to keep the post, and on video he told the tale.

A man came to see a wise teacher, and told him his life was empty.  He was a financial failure, his family cared little for him, he doubted the existence of any plan -- what was the point of even living?  The teacher took him into his kitchen and put three pots on the stove to boil.  In one he placed carrots, the next eggs, and the third coffee beans.  They watched as the three cooked for awhile, and then the teacher explained each.

The carrots had become soft, the eggs hard, and the coffee transformed the boiling water completely --into a valued and drinkable beverage.  The message was that the challenges in life, as represented by the boiling water, can leave one soft, or hard, of, if one is like the coffee, can allow the world to truly be changed and impacted by the person.  It was simple -- be the coffee bean.

The observation is apt.  An old friend and I were chatting just the other day.  He shares my theory that losers ALWAYS find ways to lose, and winners to often, though not always, win.  But losers are superior in one thing -- finding new and creative ways to describe their losses.  It's not really needed -- the message from the loser is often the same one uttered by the great Stooge Curly: "I'm just a victim of COICUMSTANCE!"  The loser is never the coffee bean -- they're the carrot or the egg.

As I age, I have less patience for this.  I used to think hearing tales of missed chances, and loss, was interesting, or insightful.  Now it's ponderous.  Tell me about the woman who WON lotto and started a charitable foundation.  Not the tale about the guy who killed himself because he never won.  Often that guy never even bought a ticket.

A dear friend of mine always shares tales of misery and woe.  I finally asked him, the other day, whether he has any stories of victory and joy.  He said those are boring -- just look at the newspapers.  The front page never features the ghetto kid who gets into Harvard -- it features the ghetto kid who gets shot by mistake because the killer was aiming at his bad older brother.

My Mom understood this.  About 5 years after she was widowed, she discontinued the daily paper.  We ALWAYS got the paper, and it annoyed me when I came to visit, as I was used to reading the news.  No, she explained -- she was going to shut out the tales of sadness and loss -- the bulk of each day's news.  She wanted to stay happy and upbeat, which she did to the end of her 93 years.

So the boiling water will come.  And of course it will harden me, or weaken me, but at heart I wish to remain the coffee bean.  Preferably a gourmet one -- like they sell at Panther Coffee...