Man Versus Dog

I'm really over having dogs as pets. As I age and become more curmudgeonly, I want to simplify -- and a big part of that includes reducing living things I'm responsible for. Wifey's been away for a week, so I've had resonsibility for the strange rescue dog, and pampered spaniel grand dog. The rescue dog really is smart. She's an escape artist, which is how she found us -- after running away from someone, and jumping into D2's friends' car. Vienna still tries to escape, and one of these days she'll be succesful. I keep the dogs in the kitchen/family room area, since the spoiled spaniel tends to crap on the oriental rugs when she explores the rest of the house. The other day, I had them there, with a back door opened to the yard. It's fenced, to prevent the dogs from getting to the front, where our gate may or not be open. I was in my office, which used to be D1's room, and all of a sudden I see the rescue dog there. I swear she was smiling at me. I figured I must have left one of the interior doors open, but a check showed I hadn't. Mysterious... Today I solved the mystery, when she did it again...the damn dog found a gap between the gate and the fence owned by our next door neighbor, who I call the World's Busiest Lawyer. I call her this because we've only met her once in the 4 years they've lived next to us -- I see the husband, and he always apologizes that his wife is inside "working on a brief." This even happens Friday evenings. I think she may well be a leper, but so be it... Anyway, the damn dog was able to climb some large rocks, and beat a retreat to the front of the yard. I placed some MORE big rocks in the slot, and watched her again. I swear, she looked back at me and appeared to ask "WTF?" It's a matter of time, with this dog...she just is a ramblin' mutt, and eventually she'll take off. I know it. We've had her 3 years now... Dogs teach us a lack of permanence in life...even the longest lived ones die after 15 years or so. I have zero chance of living in a non dog infested house, at least as long as Wifey is here. She loves dogs -- wants even more. Of course, like the kid she is, it's great to have them when she can go away and have some schlemiel be responsible for them. That's it --I'm a dog schlemiel. I guess I could be worse things...