Hebraic Diversity

Two Falls ago, Wifey and I went with Dr. Eric and Dana to North Carolina for our leaf peeping trip. We stayed a few nights at the Old Edwards Inn in Highlands, which is a gorgeous place, but not heavy on the Jewish thing...

Dana and I were in the living room, waiting for our spouses by the lovely fireplace. On the other side of the overstuffed sofa, there was another couple who had just met another fellow. The fellow was apparently waiting for his wife, too. The three had just discussed religion, and learned that one was Presbyterian, one Methodist, and one Baptist. One of the men announced: "You know --that's what's so great about America. Here we are, the three of us, enjoying this place, and we're all so diverse!"

Dana and I looked at each other and had one of those exquisite moments usually confined to Junior High School, where you feel an urge to laugh hysterically, but have to stifle it. We walked outside and let it out. Diversity! Ha! The three of you, we laughed, are all Southern WASPS! Real diverse...

Well, last night I was in a similar situation, but this time with my own peeps. Wifey and I attended a Chanukah party, hosted by our new neighborhood young millionaires, the owners of a wildy succesful internet retail company. These folks, who I'll call Ben and Rachel, since those are their names, are truly remarkable. The bought a huge mansion, and told Rabbi Yossi that the place was available for many community events, and indeed they have come through. They host weekly, catered Torah classes, and last night had a lovely party for about 50 of us, with delicious food, and a guitar player/singer who could have passed for a South American Leonard Cohen...

Anyway, we chatted, and played games, and it occurred to me how diverse the crowd was. All Jews, of course, but we heard Spanish, and Yiddish, and Hebrew, and various accents of English.

When I was among Jews on Long Island, it was VERY homogeneous. Everyone's grandparents were born in Russia, or Poland, and we all sounded the same, with Long Island accents.

In Miami, at our table last night, there was David, a dentist who was born in Miami, tall and blonde, and his wife Lisa, born in Queens but moved to Miami Beach as a young girl. There was Peter, very tall and very dark, the son of a Jewish mother from Venezuela and a non Jewish black, Caribbean father. Peter has a wonderful West Indian accent. You'd expect him to burst out singing reggae, but he knew all the traditional Hebrew songs better than I did...

Wifey and I heard Hebrew coming from behind us, from a tall, Israeli fellow, and his Yeminite Israeli wife, a lady with a dark, exotic beauty. At their table was Ralph, a Jewban born in Havana, with his wife Barbara, from Northeast Philly.

I even joked about it with one couple, Molly and Joseph. Molly was born and raised in Medellin, Colombia, of Ashkenazi backround, and Joseph, Sephardic, was born in North Africa. I told them their kids were one half Hispanic, and one half African American --they could get into ANY college in the US they wanted!

OUr hosts, Ben and Rachel, were born and raised in Milwaukee and Montreal. Ben has the classic midwestern accent, and LOVES the Packers and Brewers. Rachel speaks with the slightest hint of an accent --she speaks French, English, Hebrew, and Yiddish. I hear and "Eh" every once in awhile...

And so it went last night. Rabbi Yossi is ALL Crown Heights, Brooklyn. He speaks as if his speech coach was Jackie Mason, and his humor is classically sharp and sarcastic. He had the Mike last night, and was in his glory --leading us in song, and prayer, and comedy.

We played a game where we each told 2 truths and one lie about ourselves, and the rest of the crowd had to guess. I said I was born and raised in Philly, and one fellow, Shaya, hugged me and said he never knew I was a landsman --he's a Conshohocken guy! I admitted that was my lie, and Molly and another Jewish Latina, Irene, said "Mentira!" (Lie, in Spanish).

We fulfilled the required mitzvah of eating oil based food (potato latkes and donuts) and drank a few L'Chaims.

On the short drive home, I thought of the diverse Protestants in North Carolina, and realized I had nothing to make fun of.