Bad Movies

Wifey has always loved movies. Me? Rarely.

When I was younger, I'd enjoy them more, but as I've gotten older, more critical, and more possessive of my ever dwindling time left on this planet, I've become much more difficult to please in the theatre.

I love reading. And the best part of a book is that, if it stinks, you just put it down and go to another. It's tougher to walk out of a theatre in the middle, especially since Wifey usually wants to stay, as she's better than I am at finding SOMETHING worthwhile in a film.

So yesterday, we had a lovely Saturday. I had breakfast at Lots 'O Lox for the second am in a row, with my friend Vince, and then headed home for a break from eating, but not too long of a break. Wifey and I had plans to visit D1 at the restaurant where she's a hostess, which is arguably the top new restaurant in town.

We were treated like royalty. We ordered 2 dishes, and the chef, knowing our little girl worked there, sent over 3 more, including the second most delicious thing I've ever put into my mouth: their king crab claw chunks. They season is and grill it with some magical sauces, and, well, it's amazingly delicious. (The first most delicious thing I've ever eaten is a deep friend kreplach at Sammy's Romanian in the Lower East Side, but that was following prodigious amounts of Stoli served in a block of ice, so maybe my judgment wasn't too clear).

Anyway, on the way over, my old friend Kenny called and asked us to go see "Beginners," and "independent" film playing at the Gables Art Cinema. We agreed, and met Kenny and his wife Joelle there.

The movie start Christopher Plummer as a widower who comes out as gay at 75, and Ewan McGregor as an emotionally challenged (whiny)grown son, and how the two of them seek true love as the Dad happily dies of stage iv lung cancer.

Yawn. By the end of the too long movie, I hoped that Ewan McGregor's character would be the one to die the painful death, as punishment for his excessive whining and sad looking eyes. His character DID suffer from terminal wimpiness.

He had a hot girlfriend, played by some French chick, but even there the movie stunk: we never got to see her topless.

I walked out into the hot, humid night feeling that 2 hours were stolen from me.

Ken and Joelle liked the movie. Different strokes... Wifey agreed with me it was cliched and boring and tried to be a drama, rom-com, and coming of age all at the same time, failing at all three. As she said, it needed to be funnier...

So I think I'll give films a rest for awhile. The truth is, I only really enjoy like one movie per year. When's the next "Animal House" coming out?

And on the way home, I thought --what's the big deal? It's not like Wifey and I had other plans for Saturday night. So what--we wasted time on a bad movie.

But, the time cut into my precious reading period. I left several great library borrows, courtesy of Wifey, alone and untouched.