OMN Rearing Its Ugly Head Again

 So some time in the not too distant past, I had right shoulder pain and the feeling that spider webs were on my arm -- near the elbow. I just looked it up -- it was June of 2024. Since I'm not a hypochondriac, but alarmist, I had a CT scan.

I just learned the difference between the two -- from Woody Allen! Wifey and I watched a great interview Bari Weiss did with him, and she called him a "famous hypochondriac." He corrected her. Hypochondriacs awake each day thinking they have some dreaded disease. Alarmists like him, upon noticing any actual symptom, assume the worst! I turned to Wifey and said that was me!!!!

Anyway, back 2 Junes ago, my differential diagnoses were the worst, glioblastoma (terminal brain cancer), spinal cancer (rare, but still very bad), or at the least, a dangerous herniated disc that was waiting to paralyze me at the slightest tap on the back. Well, I DID have a pretty badly herniated cervical disc, along with lots of arthritis, and Dr. Barry, not Bari Weiss, told me in the trade it was known as OMN, or Old Man Neck.

I had a few months of PT in Kendall, and sure enough, the pins and needles went away, as did the shoulder pain. I resumed my normal activities, including twice weekly workouts, and daily 3 mile walks. Several months ago a bad knee reared its ugly head, and that got better on its own -- just took weeks instead of the days' worth or recovery when I was a much younger man. I guess I have OMK, or Old Man's Knee, as well.

Anyway, I think the OMN is back. This time, I've been getting vague headaches along with the neck pain, and my alarmist side goes to the dark again. It doesn't help that Paul's best college friend Frank died of glioblastoma a few years back, and last year an old college acquaintance, all of 63, did as well -- AFTER she endured "awake" surgery which to me is something out of Mary Shelley.

I'm due for my annual physical 11/19, and had blood drawn last week, but Wifey suggested maybe calling our affable doc, Rigo, to get a test before then -- and so I called him today. He thinks my arthritic neck is indeed well the culprit, and ordered a new CT scan -- for my head and neck. I'll go to the freestanding clinic like last time, which charges out of pocket like $300, as opposed to the  Baptist Centers which charge over $3K since they're "hospital based."

Hopefully I get the same diagnosis: OMN, and I can start some PT again designed to lesson the symptoms. When I turn my head, indeed I hear the crackling noise I long ago learned is called crepitus, a word that sounds as negative as it is -- must share a root with decrepitude, which is what age brings.

Meanwhile, I hope to have some answers to the deeper questions 6 weeks from now. Barry, Norman, and I are signed up for another class with young Rabbi Moshe -- this one on Kabbalah, or Jewish mysticism. Why are we here? What point is there being stuck in traffic? Why is aging and its infirmities a sad game of whack-a-mole?

First class is tomorrow, and Norman is already dipping -- some UM Homecoming event he has to attend -- I'm assuming either fraternity or WVUM related -- two of his jams from our college days and beyond.

So Barry and I will meet -- probably at Captain's Tavern, a bastion of our local oldsters, before we're off to class. I already know I'm missing the final session -- seeing, hopefully, Stevie Nicks, who was supposed to play at the Indian Casino in September, but rescheduled since she has OWS (Old Woman's Shoulder), apparently.

Here's to nice, boring news from the discount Radiologist...