So we descendants of the ancient Hebrews are taught that the new year (5786 now for those keeping score) is a time to take stock in our lives, figuring out, to quote Bob Seger, what to leave in and what to leave out.
Rabbi Yossi quoted Mark Twain recently: "There are 2 critical days in a person's life. The day he is born, and the day he figures out why." For most, if not all of us, that second day is tough to find.
But today, the former English major in me gets to live out symbolism that's so clear it's cliched: a funeral and a birthday.
The first is the funeral, or more accurately, a Mass at an Episcopal Church in the Gables followed by a Celebration of Life -- for my old college friend Dave. He died from a burst aneurysm over the ocean in an airplane returning from Italy. Actually, the plane landed in Philly, where he was placed on life support until his kids could join his wife -- one from UM, and the other from SMU - and he was removed at that time.
I'm not sure whether he was buried or cremated -- but since even this mediocre former law student has realized there is only a church and house involved today -- I assume Dave's body has been taken care of.
I spoke to his ex wife yesterday -- a Thai born woman -- not wanting to use today as a happy catch-up talk with her -- she used to be one of our stockbrokers. She said she wasn't attending -- she figured today belonged to Dave's widow and kids, and she wasn't involved in his life. But she said, relating to the Twain quote, that Dave knew why he was born when he was 7 or 8 -- to become a trial lawyer - and he was one of the highest level. He was just inducted into some international group last Summer where they have only a few members from each state -- indeed he handled the highest level of cases at a huge firm.
They had divorced precisely because Dave was a workaholic, and she wanted more in life. Of course, they lived large -- historic Gables mansion, trips around the world, and it always seemed to me that spouses who enjoyed that sort of lifestyle ought to have understood it comes, unless there is family money, with the price of hyper work hours. Still, she said she had forgiven his energy (she's Buddhist) and was indeed still hadn't found what she was looking for -- she recently switched brokerage houses.
I met Dave's twins as toddlers, but today I'll know them well -- I was a little older than they when I lost my beloved father. If their Mom wishes, when things settle down I'll reach out to them to share my journey as a young adult (now old adult) without a living Dad.
And then later on, I'll go home to fetch Wifey, who is skipping the Mass and Life Celebration on account of she doesn't do too many things in one day, and we'll cruise up to Aventura for the 75th!!!! birthday dinner for my brother of another mother Paul.
Wow. He and I met when he had just turned 38, and I was 27. We started our law firm 31 years ago come November. There have been 4 wives (3 for him; one for me) and a bunch of girlfriends (for him).
When we met, he had 2 small kids and I had a baby D1. Now he has 2 middle aged kids, I have one creeping perilously close to that stage, and one trying to become a Mom, too. There are 7 grandkids, and one step son.
If Paul and I stood upon a bridge over a river, we'd have seen a LOT of water passing beneath.
So tonight we'll gather in a relatively small group and honor a man with a heart as big as the Canes offensive line -- my big brother who I love dearly.
This being Miami, a big city that is often a small town, one of Paul's former wives is the widow of Dave -- so we'll be standing together at the sad part of the day.
But I will still savor it. As a wise man , Professor and Reverend Jim Ash told me when my Dad died: "We all do it." So I will look back and reflect on Dave's life -- hell -- I met him in 1981,
But I plan to exhult tonight -- the Big Man gave my brother 3/4 of a century, with plenty more to come.
There's a lot of stock to process about life today...
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