Wifey and I draw close to our 39th anniversary, this coming January. Many young people ask me how it was possible she has stayed so long with an insufferable man like me, who barely supported her and our Ds, lays about all day, and squandered what little money we DID have on vices like drugs and gambling. The answer cannot be revealed in a family blog.
Ha. As if! Last night was a perfect example. Wifey hosted 3 friends for mah jonng. Two of them, Lisa and Deb, are not opposed to an adult beverage, so I poured some white wine for Lisa and made Deb a cosmo -- my go to drink since I buy them pre-mixed from Ketel One -- just cool in a shaker and add a slice of orange. Karen teetotals, and she is moving to Birmingham, Alabama, so I got my own vodka martini and we toasted to Karen having a new "sweet home" in the city where they "love the governor."
Then, Wifey asked me to put on some Sonor music for them -- not "Hard Rock," which I joked was a term probably last used in 1975. But I knew what she meant, and tuned to "Yacht Rock," which played Little River Band, Climax Blues Band, Steely Dan, etc...
When the ladies left, Wifey ran to the library to take a long call from an out of state friend, but she did put the phone down long enough to say "Thank you SO much for making my friends so welcome and happy."
Hey -- it's how I roll -- I would have been most happy in another life as an innkeeper. Which reminded me of the first time Wifey and I were in Key West. As we strolled down Caroline Street, I reflected "Imagine how nice it would be someday owning a B and B?" Wifey, always honest and self aware, answered "I don't cook or clean for my OWN family -- you think I want to do it for strangers?" So yeah -- that never happened.
But the other day, a friend married just a few years was telling me his wife complained he didn't say "I love you" enough. I instructed him to lead his wife into a dark bedroom and have her flip the switch. When the light came on, he was to say "Nice that when you flip the switch, the light comes on, isn't it? That's because I pay freaking FPL and ALL of your expenses. That's called love. Now shut the hell up."
Yes, I really ought to write a guidebook.
Another issue is total honesty in a marriage. Whenever a wife asks if she looks good -- be honest. "I look old, don't I?" The right answer is "Well not mummy old, but pretty old, yeah."
Honesty is the best policy.
Women in particular, it seems, have zero issue accepting aging. A UM site I subscribe to asked about your dorms. I answered that I was so old, both my first dorm, the 1968 Complex, and Building 22, were long ago demolished. A neighbor I'll call Riva, since that's her name, remarked she was there the same years I was and she is NOT old! Ok, I answered -- whatever you say -- even though I passed her house the other day when she was getting into her car and I heard loud creaking...
Snark aside, I found there IS one secret to a long marriage -- humor. Wifey and I still share it. We make each other laugh. We were talking about how each of the Ds were like us -- D1 more like her; D2 more like me. She said "Well, D1 has boundless energy, and I'm LETHARGIC." I would have never called her that, but she so self described, and it was hilarious.
And she points out my foibles in a funny way -- usually.
Yes, laughing together, and sharing those gifts from the Big Man -- our grandsons. I would prognosticate we're going to stick it out past 4 decades...
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