So right before we left, our friend Susan died -- we missed her funeral. I texted her husband Steve and explained -- we would be in Budapest. He wrote back that exactly one year ago, he and Susie were there -- they took a land version of our trip along the Danube. They loved it so much they vowed to go back. I told Steve they would, and indeed our first night on the riverboat, Wifey and I toasted our wonderful friend. She and Steve were back in spirit.
Death has a way of never taking extended holidays, I have learned. On the trip, we were touring Budapest, with the PA 6, and one of them, Louann, got a call as we walked the old city. She thought it might be a pocket, as it was 5 am PA time, but it wasn't -- her sister was calling to say her niece, also her goddaughter, had died, at 34. The young woman was a college runner who had given birth to her first baby the week before -- some sudden cardiac issue must have taken her. Louann and John, her affable husband, left the tour, went back to the river boat, and made plans to fly home the next day -- apparently they were able to find a flight out of Frankfurt.
Though we had only met days before, we all felt close to them -- we talked during dinner, deeply, about her beloved niece -- married to a teacher and living near Charlottesville, VA. Louann was in shock, of course -- they made it back, according to the now PA 4. We had her and her family in our thoughts the remainder of the trip.
Wifey and I , with our dark humor, noted that we would only cut short a trip like that if, Big Man forbid, a very select number of people in our lives suffered such a loss -- so there was an "upside" to not having close, extended family.
Anyway -- last week, as we awaited a coach to take us to an amazing dinner at a palace in Vienna, Wifey got a text from Samantha -- her friend Jeannette's daughter. Sam NEVER texts -- she asked Wifey to call her or Jeannette. I got a sinking feeling -- figuring someone had become very sick. Wifey texted back -- she was in Europe -- was all ok? Sam replied to just call when she returned to the US. I was a bit surprised -- I would have called -- but Wifey, ever the more practical one, figured bad news could wait -- why mess up OUR trip? Hey -- it was her call.
Sure enough, as we were awaiting baggage in customs Sunday evening, Wifey got a text -- from the third Brooklyn friend -- Jeannette's husband Bob had died last Thursday. When Samantha learned we were in Europe, very WASP-like, though her Mom is a Latin Jew, she didn't want to ruin Wifey's trip.
I told Wifey that when I die -- I don't care if my friends are at the freaking Hurricanes championship game -- I want them to know -- THEN! But that's just me.
When we got home, Wifey called Jeannette. Bob had just turned 71, and was home from a great vacation -- took his 4 grandkids to Harry Potter World in Orlando. He had a nasty fall, and was taken to the hospital -- they diagnosed some type of bowel obstruction, and released him after a few days.
He was home recovering, just week but feeling ok, and Jeannette was by his side. He insisted she leave for awhile, and she did -- and when she returned some minutes later, he was dead -- in bed.
Something is missing, of course -- typically an obstruction doesn't prove fatal -- maybe he had a perforation? I know he DID have heart valve surgery some years ago -- maybe that illness returned?
All I know is, today is a celebration of life at Samantha's house, where Bob and Jeannette lived, old school style.
Bob was a sweet guy -- always adored his family. He always fancied himself a businessman, but never caught a break -- lost all their savings in an ill fated franchise of day spas. But they were living with their oldest daughter, a lawyer, and her husband and 2 kids, and were VERY close -- the kind of grandparents with daily duties.
And poor Jeannette -- her Mom Inez died just a few months ago. Her death was expected -- she was in her 90s and with dementia. Wifey thought Bob looked poorly at the funeral -- to me he looked fine. But Jeannette must process the loss of 2 of her innermost circle, so close.
My friends have nicknamed me Obit Dave -- I always share news of deaths before anyone else. On the river one evening, I discussed with Wifey the reason for this. I WANT all of my friends to always know, like I do, how fragile and precious life is. We assume we have unlimited time -- like I'm sure Bob figured he wasn't leaving this mortal coil any time soon.
But the truth is, as Jim Morrison noted, no one gets out of here alive. And when a death hits close, that ought to hit US close, and make sure we savor each moment -- whether on a luxury vacation, or eating a really delicious Cuban sandwich in Hialeah.
So this afternoon it will be adios, Bob. He was cremated -- no funeral for him -- just the get together today.
But he leaves a great legacy, adored by his daughters and 4 grandkids, and now widow, Jeannette.
RIP to a good guy -- may we not hear from Mr. Reaper for a good, long while.
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